N.J         The thorn that grew from rock is as honourable as, “the rose that grew from concrete”.!. YET, it’s unnoticed on its journey as it triumphs through adversaries like an unborn.!. Travelling only as a shadow in sacred darkness and rising beyond each spree of light.!. Only by time is it graded and by sky is it nurtured, to a fulfillment undermined by misfortunes..! Bound only by roots that’s never seen its horizon, though connects both past and future..! Freed only by eyes that’s seen the sun and the moon, yet misses a flower’s bloom..!         #LLALL

My name is Meriam… I am a twenty-year old Tunisian girl. A tired soul with short-dark hair and brown eyes. I was born in a small town near the Libyan Desert called Tataouine… a harsh place invaded by ISIS, where a girl is either a sex slave, or simply an unproductive, desperate human being. I always thought that I was going to end up dead either by getting beaten up, or by committing suicide. Life stopped the moment I realized that I was a prisoner of an extremist religious family, a harsh judgmental Islamic culture, a third-world country and a careless government. But no more worries, because today I woke up in my double-bed, sunshine was coming through my big window and I could smell spring in my green back yard; located in my burgundy home in Eagan, Minnesota. . I used to believe that I suffer from rumination, which is a kind of excessive thinking that results in stress and anxiety. I have repetitive thoughts going in and out of my mind, basically, all day long. From the moment I wake up, it just keep happening; when I am sitting in class, when I am talking to someone, when I am eating a sandwich, when I am taking a shower, even when I am kissing somebody or having a group meeting, it is too strong to be distracted from it. I can’t forget, and I kind of forgive myself now for not being able to; maybe that’s why I am still functioning and looking like any other normal twenty-year old girl. I feel sorry and angry because god, or whatever is running this life, had to teach me a lesson in the most savage, unbearable way ever. I am mad because I didn’t get to choose myself, my family or my country… I am mad because I didn’t enjoy my childhood, and because I had to wake up for…

Many of us face different types of struggles in life. Some financially, some emotionally, some mentally and yes even some sexually. sometimes, its more than just a struggle. It can be a war. A living hell. Somethings cant be explained, even when you can see the damage take a toll on your friends. Maybe even your family, your significant other or even yourself. The only difference, is some people who are affected by it cant see it themselves and are led to believe its their fault. It’s a feeling than can not be controlled. Maybe kept under watch. But it’s an inner demon that’s hell bent on destroying you from the inside out. A darkness that swallows you whole. An endless pit that makes you feel as though you are nothing, worthless how you’ll never amount to anything nor be loved by anyone. The love of your life can be completely devoted to you, and somehow you’ll still feel as though she wants and deserves better. So it eats you slowly. Creating confusion, anger, sorrow, fear, frustration. Leading to more, swirling together as though it was mixing a recipe that forms into unstable pain. From your heart, to your soul, to your body. The darkness is the human hearts greatest enemy. It can even get to the point where it can kill you. It might be easier to explain if i shared my story to the world. So that maybe, just maybe it can help save someone from their demons. I’ve had many nicknames along the road on this adventurous life. Jorgie, Jorgito, gochino, Jo-Jo, Godfather, Damien, Jay. But i will forever remember myself, as the bastard Jorge. It may be a little difficult to explain what has happened in my life while dealing with this internal struggle. So i hope you can bare with me. And i’ll try and make this quick without sugar coating anything and hopefuly get…

                                                              Internal Wounds         There’s a possibility I’m carving my life into script, with every scar I inflict upon myself.!. Not on the surface for it is adored by most chicks but within like a kid marks an under-desk.!. In my garden beneath the trees lies fruits so ripe, they capture my heart when I can’t catch my breath.!. I might flirt with my eyes but the giving in’s my demise, though my lips are sealed and my heart’s long swept.!. My void echoes in ruin as I shy away from affection but like a kettle, my pleasure is a steam of lust.!. Unwilling to trust and a challenge to share, I long for your touch though it brings tears to my eyes.!. Now my thoughts are all but masks of lies from the truth, they’re my dreaded shame which I could never correct.!. Knowing views are just views I’ve rejected all polls, living on my own terms embodying my imperfections.!. And I’d sooner let my pride fold before it’s told or crumble before its sold, being the only true value I’ve kept.!. Yet in the midst of feuds for submitting to my self-exploitation, I felt wronged for the best of me was not met.!. So I’ll live one thousand lies awaiting one faithful try, before being defined by someone else’s perception.!.

Outcast By some unknown traveler ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1. Intro   This book is the sole expression of my life, its meaning (if any) and my feelings in general, since the day I was born. Some things won’t be believed, but that is how I exprienced them, because I feel a huge desire to share them, for some unknown reason. And yeah I’m listening to cool music while I am writing this, which is pretty damn awesome to do. I actually think its a cool thing to do, to write the story of your life, in a simple txt notepad file, and share it with the world. If you don’t find this interesting of course, feel free to skip this, but I promise I will try to keep things interesting.   2. Visions of childhood   The first thing / memory I remember from my life and childhood, is my actual birth. You may find it hard to believe how a person can remember his own birth, but I remember a small fraction. I remember visions up until today, of being inside a red tunnel (sounds funny doesn’t it), sliding down and coming out to a number of unfamiliar faces. I think there were a few doctors around me when I came out, but I’m not sure about that. Since then, I will try now to remember what comes to my head first because it’s not simple to remember your own early childhood as some of it is kind of erased from your memory for some reason..   So, the first thing I remember after that, the earliest memory, is either going to pray with my father on a friday (I was born and raised jewish, that’s how it was), or a clear memory of my brother’s wedding day.   I think it was the earlier, because the memory of my brother’s wedding is more clear. I remember everyone liking the…

My Grandfather

He is the one and only Sovereign Felix M. Melgar. The supreme leader in the FAR EAST. The founder of Iglesia sa Dios Espiritu Santo, Sec Reg. # 8315. He has no beginning and no end. He was born of the Holy Spirit.   It was June 19 in Inabangga Bohol, when a baby boy was found on a rock by Florpina M. Melgar. She was delighted to see the baby. She took him and brought him home. He was supposedly to be baptized by the name of Filii Dei, but the priest doesn’t agree for it means “Son of God”. So then the baby was named Felix, which means, “happy”. He came to bring happiness to his people.  As what the Lord Jesus Christ has said :  But I say the truth to you, It is profitable for you that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I go I will send him to you. Comforter/Maglilipay/Felix (c)   As he was growing up, he have shown his greatness and served his purpose.  At the age of Seven, he wandered anywhere in the town to do things he ought to do such as mingling with people, healing the sick, and many other things that the Holy Spirit has told him to do.  He was in his first grade and he was always absent because he often wanders around but even though he was always absent, he was able to answer quizzes and has shown knowledge that made his teachers wonder.       

Since I remember I was a Dreamy girl , and for that point people dare to underestimating me in any situation.  After years of ignorance and hearing “it’s not work . it’s impossible . it’s just might happen in your dreams … ” I started to believe it.  yes , I swallowed them . But still I had dreams and hopes that maybe ” I can do it . dreams can be come true ,…” .  I had and still have a nice voice and enjoy singing, it’s may not perfect but it’s not that bad. Since I was 15 I got to memorize songs and singing without knowing what exactly their meanings. My cousin was wondered how I can pronounce those words exact as I’m a Native speaker! So she advice my mom to send me to some institute and let me learn English.  It was 1 or maximum 2 month a year, but I enjoyed it , better than everyone in the class .  10 years past and for while I stopped learning English, and circling around myself in a university in a field I didn’t liked it and wasting my 5 golden years and regret all the time .  I just couldn’t turn the clock back and start over, I didn’t found myself that strong so I just stopped study accounting on associate degree and just wasting another 4 years till I got almost 26 and  half.  I had dreams which I couldn’t let go , dream of going to USA or UK to study and working and living, finding true love and be happy ever after.  I decided to have some step for it so I commence going to institute again and prepare myself to have the IELTS exam. I found myself as a really good and creative writer so I found my wings there.  Thanks to my teacher and classmates I found my lost sprit…

About a year ago , I decided to move from my country, to chasing my dreams and fly over my thought . I remember almost every day used to say I will leave here in next 6 month, Every day to my self and my family. From the financial part we were in the middle of the line , not reach and not poor.  I was working 2 shifts totaly 12 hours a day 6 says a week but no saving!!!  I didn’t get to use to save money, all I knew was I have no right to limit myself because of tomorrow! the time that you have no idea what will be upon you. That time I was sure that I will have my own way and lifestyle another place far from my family and there was when I found a English institue online and as I had a program to take the IELTS exam so I started study with them after a while the manager who was a Iranian man offered me a job. Woow! I started working with them online and translating and writing some articles about how to learn English and after the Ielts exam Once I asked the manager , Can I help you with anything becuse he looked tired ! and he replied “Yes, you can if you come over here” ! And I said ” Ok, just send me the invitation .” That day changed my life . My father realized I belong to somewhere else and he let me go… It was hard for them to let me go, it was a risk , the couldn’t come with me and for 28 years I didn’t leave them , never! I was ready to go and see another season of mylife and explore myself and life. For some paper thing we should go to the capital and almost 14 days we staid there and…

Norma Jeane Mortenson

  I was also fortunate enough to land a part time job working as a darkroom accent for, Consolidated Film Industries. Consolidated Film Industries was a film laboratory and film processing company, and was one of the leading film laboratories in the Los Angeles area for many decades. CFI processed negatives and made prints for motion pictures industry, where I worked for four years. I was just 16 years old when I started.   Gladys Baker, the mother of Marilyn Monroe, worked for Consolidated as a negative film cutter; Marilyn Monroe’s biological father is believed to have been fellow consolidated employee Charles Stanley Gifford. I would see Norma Jeane Mortenson at the gate of the film laboratory waiting for her mother sometimes we would site down on the kerbstone and she would talk all the time never stopped talking. She was just 18 years old..   After graduating as an electrical engineer from California Institute of Technology I was hired by Byron Haskin, ASC, and head of the Warner Bros. Special Effects Department on Stage 5 in Burbank. Since this was the largest such department in the movie business, I was able to work with some of the top cinematographers in the effects field, such as ASC fellows Edwin  DuPar, Hans Koenekamp and Warren Lynch. When Warner Bros. purchased First National’s studio in Burbank, California, I signed a contract and remained with the studio on and off for the next 40 years.   Throughout the 40 years in the movie industry i only worked with Marilyn Monroe one’s in the film River of No Return (1954) on the first day of shutting she came right in front of everyone a said to me “you made it” my little neg man and gave me a kiss.  You must remember that it’s an unwritten law the film crew do not talk to the actress on the film set.  She never stops talking about the…